Centuries later, a follow up post. This time around we’re talking hairstyles. For the sake of this post I will include completely fabricated stats– what percentage of Lawrencians rock the look.

mohawks.. it’s summer. the hawks have fled lawrence/the “left behind” rock hawks. depending on your attitude, i’d pair with racing stripes shaved on the side of your head, or gel into a curve to one side… a commentary on the captive whale population?
how many in town? 10-15% of downtown street traffic

white-kid dreds.. is an inaccurate name since many wearers are actually grown with dred-kids of their own. for best results decorate with ribbons, beads, bird’s nests, plant sprouts. just don’t forget to wash your hair. no, seriously. i mean. seriously.
how many in town? 78% of incense shop patrons. 43% of that smell wafting your way from 9th and mass

highschool hipster cowboy combover.. why wait for hereditary balding to kick in? you can start your own combover committee now! use spit, glue or gel to keep in place, pair with square glasses, and anything that tries hard to look like it’s not trying. i mean–!
how many in town? 37% friday night crowd at jackpot music hall

mullet.. there are many styles, but this commentator has eyes for one mullet only. pair with indifference, unrelatability or superstar transcendence.
how many in town? mullets defy measurement/census results pending…